He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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