I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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