it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize