I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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