i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
