Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Randomize
