If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
