there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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