I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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