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i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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