I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
