I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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