Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
