Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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