I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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