No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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