Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
