Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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