he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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