On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
