I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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