why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
