Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
