omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
