How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
