shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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