my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
