i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
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This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize