Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
