there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Enjoy the penises
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
