Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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