I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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