How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
