38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she looked like the before picture.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
