I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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