i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
