planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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