Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
