i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
