it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
