I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
