i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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