I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
