In the future we'll all be gay
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
