I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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