Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
