You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
