is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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