Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
