I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
