I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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