So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
