I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
