it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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