Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
