so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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