Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
