We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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