its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
