i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
