I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
