is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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