i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
