There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize