You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
