After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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